… with a new blog. I start blogs and then I cannot keep up with them.
I’ve had blogs about dogs, sports, personal experiences on WordPress and Tumblr. It’s easy to start something, but so damn hard to continue. To get inspiration. To get out of your stagnated state, both physically and mentally, is a challenge.
I’m at a stage in life where I am 50 years old feeling like 15, but with the huge difference that back then I had a zest for life. I was ready to eat the world and make it my own. And I did. In my very own way, I was successful in achieving those goals I had clearly visualize as a very young girl.
- I wouldn’t live the life my mother did.
- She struggled way too much to raise four kids in a foreign country after separating from my father.
- I would live alone before ever marrying somebody.
- I needed to prove myself as an independent woman before tying the knot with anyone… just in case we divorced, I would have already experience what living alone was so the transition wouldn’t be that hard.
- I would be a career woman.
- I would go to college and work for a big company that would allow me to climb the corporate ladder.
- I would not have children.
- To me it has always been a life-long commitment and that would be very hard for me to do.
- I would travel the world.
- I may have not travelled the entire globe yet, but I’ve done some awesome trips and still hope to embark on some more.
- I would buy my own house.
- Done that twice.
- I would never be financially dependent, much less on a man.
- I must knock on wood. I hope this continues for the longest run.
- I would… I would… I would.
This, all this has had a huge repercussion on who I became and how it has affected my life and my relationships, regardless of them being love or friendships. The patterns I have repeated so often through out my life are product of that little girl at age five who had very clear life goals, rather than just playing with her Barbies and softball.
Since my early twenties I’ve been on a spiritual path, curious to know what is out there, or rather “in here”. I’ve always had a feeling that there was more than the eyes could see. More to just the material, visible and touchable, world.
I’m hoping to use this platform as a way of expressing my experiences in the search for the true self that resides inside of me, as a source of life inspiration.